Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Ever since I found out we were having a girl I have had mixed emotions. I keep hearing, "perfect, now you have one of each!" and "girls are so fun and you can buy them so many cute clothes!", but I all can think of is me as a teenager. I was a good kid, but I know I was difficult.

I may come back to this post in a couple of years and laugh; probably like some mothers of girls are laughing as they read it now. 

Truth is, I wanted a boy first; having Abram was a relief. To me, having a boy first is sort of like getting my feet wet before I dive in. Don't get me wrong, I know boys have their own issues, but they seem just a little bit simpler. Now having a girl seems so foreign to me. Yes, I am so excited about connecting with her and having our mother/daughter "girl" time, but will I be able to give her the confidence she needs in life?

My mom was a HUGE force in my life. Honestly, if it wasn't for her I probably wouldn't be here today. I was a good mixture of girl and dirt, was extremely creative, had good grades, and was very involved in school activities. I also had bad acne, braces, drank, and took diet pills in high school to try and be as skinny as the other girls. I remember being teased by some, just as others probably remember being teased by me. Then I think about the addition of social media and what that would have been like and it makes me want to take my daughter to an island for her teen years and home school her. Adolescence is tough on young ladies. Puberty, peer pressure, sex, body image...I went through it all and this time I will have to be the one to guide my daughter. Can I do it? 

The notion of "mean girls" appears to have gotten worse today than even a few years ago. About a year ago, I was running and saw some elementary school girls following and teasing me. My first thought was to turn around and start chasing them to see what they would do {it would have been great}, but my second thought was that I am an adult and could this really be happening!? They were so young yet I was slightly scared of them!

I have seen so many women who think snark and bitchiness is a good quality. I know that no mother wants to teach their daughter that, but we all do things we are not proud of when we think they are not looking...they are. I would like for my daughter to have a big heart and a sense of humbleness, and to know that she doesn't need snark to get by. I hope I can show my daughter the power of being nice to others. There is power in that...being kind. 

Our boy {left} and our girl {right}

I cannot imagine how the personalities will differ from boy to girl, inherently. Abram is all about balls, sticks, and as soon as Matt lays down he runs to tackle him. I am very used to this life. He saw a barbie at the party we went to last weekend and grabbed it and started waving it like a sword. He had no clue what it was good for. 

Matt's coworkers have told him, "Boys break bones and replaceable objects, girls break your soul". Ummm...not sure I can take that lightly. Abram is a strong willed boy, but having a strong willed girl may be on another level. Plus, our family has a rich history of a very strong willed second child so if that is true we are in trouble! 

None the less, I hope she and Abram grow close and can be there for each other when one of them needs help and guidance. I have prayed for good character in my children. Yes, I could say the specific personalities I wish they would have, but that wouldn't make them that way. Instead, I hope they find what they love and never stop doing it. I hope they enjoy life, and do everything with a sense of pride and humbleness. I hope they lead by example, not by being bossy. Most of all I hope Matt and I can manage to raise them without too many bumps and bruises; I am sure we are in for a wild ride! Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful moms and a very happy one to my mom!!

xo,
Nikki